


Cell Block Tango (Song Fic)

by MoonbirbxDottie



Series: Love Island: The Song Fic/Parody Album [1]
Category: Love Island (Video Game)
Genre: Chicago, MC is still Oshun., Multi, Song Parody, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-14
Updated: 2020-05-14
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:20:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24171937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoonbirbxDottie/pseuds/MoonbirbxDottie
Summary: Song fic of the Cell Block Tango from Chicago
Series: Love Island: The Song Fic/Parody Album [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1765243
Comments: 5
Kudos: 9





	Cell Block Tango (Song Fic)

Somewhere in the darkest, coldest, maximum security prison, six women are housed here. How did they get here you ask? Time to find out. The lady in the first cell is Hope. "Cut..."

The next is Lottie. "Tea..."

Marisol. "Fish..."

Chelsea? "Uh uh.."

Oshun, pointing at Marisol. "Hateful hoe..."

And Shannon. "Ibrahim."

And now, the six merry murderesses of the Love Island Jail. In their rendition of the Cell Block Tango...

"Cut..."

"Tea..."

"Fish..."

"Uh uh..."

"Hateful hoe..."

"Ibrahim..."

The ladies move around. You catch a glimpse of Oshun trying to grab Marisol by the hair.

"Cut, Tea, Fish, Uh uh, Hateful hoe, Ibrahim.

Cut, Tea, Fish, Uh uh, Hateful hoe, Ibrahim.

Cut, Tea, Fish, Uh uh, Hateful hoe, Ibrahim."

The ladies stop, with their hands on the bars, posing.

_He had it comin'_  
_He had it comin'_  
_He only had himself to blame_  
_If you'd have been there_  
_If you'd have heard it_  
_I betcha you would have done the same_

Take a look at each girl in turn. "Cut, Tea, Fish, Uh uh, Hateful hoe, Ibrahim. Cut, Tea, Fish, Uh uh, Hateful hoe, Ibrahim."

Hope struts out from the cell. "You know how people have these little habits that get you down. Like Noah."

Noah appears with a toastie that looks to be cut in small pieces.

"Noah, he slices toasties in little pieces. No, not slice, CUT! So I came into the kitchen this one day. I'm really irritated and I'm looking for a little bit o' sympathy."

Noah's at a counter with a new toastie and proceeds to cut it.

"And there's Noah making us a toastie to share and he is slicing it. No, not slicing it. Cutting it. So, I said to him, 'You cut that toastie one more time'. And he did. So I took the the knife from him and I stabbed holes."

The lights went dark but there's a red backlight, highlighting their silhouettes. Noah drops to the ground. The lights are on but we're focused on Hope's face with a bloody knife.

"Into his head." 

_He had it comin'_  
_He had it comin'_  
_He only had himself to blame_  
_If you'd have been there_  
_If you'd have heard it_  
_I betcha you would have done the same_

Lottie walks with Gary, hand in hand. "I met Gary from Chatham at the beginning. He comfort me when Hannah went home and..."

They both share a kiss on the lips.

"We hit it off right away. So, we started coupling up. He'd go to the gym, he'd tell jokes, I'd fix him tea, we'd have dinner."

Gary pulls out his phone and reads it.

"One morning I found out 'A date' he told me. Date, my ass!"

Gary sits at a table, decorated with plates, utensils, and candles.

"Not only did he go on a date."

A petite, redhead in a black dress appears.

"Oh no, it was with Hannah. I had forgot Islanders can return on the show, you know. So that night when we had a party, I fixed him a Bobbyfish, which is just a jellyfish."

Lottie shakes something in a mixer and pours it in a cocktail glass and gives it to Gary. Gary begins to cough and hold his throat. He reaches out for Lottie, who watches him crumble to the floor. She shrug.

" You know, some guys just can't pick their poison." 

_He had it comin'_  
_He had it comin'_  
_He took a flower_  
_In its prime_  
_And then he used it_  
_And he abused it_  
_It was a murder_  
_But not a crime_

Chelsea, Oshun, and Shannon hanging out in the corner, shouting, "Uh-uh, Hateful hoe, Ibrahim."

Marisol is sitting on the bench with a yellow light imitating the sun. "Now, I'm relaxing on the roof terrace. Sunbathing and thinking, minding my own business. In storms Graham in a jealous rage

Graham storms in, obviously angry.

'You thinking about coupling up with Elisa,' he says. He was crazy and he kept on assuming.

Graham is pointing his finger at Marisol.

'You want to be with Elisa!' And then he ran into my heel.

Marisol puts one foot up, showing off her heel. "He ran into my heel ten times"

She kicks Graham ten times. By the final kick, Graham lies lifeless on the ground bleeding out. 

_If you'd have been there_  
_If you'd have seen it_  
_I betcha you would have done the same!_

Chelsea wanders over confused. "What am I doing here? I was just sitting poolside drinking prosecco. I didn't know Henrik tripped on the bottle and fell on the edge of the pool and stayed there for more than 24 hours. I am innocent. I do not know why people say I placed the bottle there on purpose. I tried to explain it, but they did not want to listen!”

"Yeah, but did you do it?" Hope asked. Chelsea shakes her head frantically. "Uh uh, not guilty!"

Oshun is idly applying lip gloss.

"From days three through six, I was coupled with Rocco." Rocco leaps into view, strumming his ukele.

"I wanted Gary to choose me..."

Take a brief look at Gary, who's lifeless on the ground. Then back at Oshun, who now holding a compact mirror.

"But it is what it is. I got to know him and we got on great. That is until Lucas arrived in the Villa."

Lucas appear, smouldering in all his glory. Oshun shimmies over to him. She begins to circle around him, biting her lip.

"Honey, he was handsome, charming, smooth, goofy, funny, sexy, and fit. So much that Rocco was bothered."

Rocco in the back, looking salty.

"So this one time we had a challenge. the kiss and tell. It sounded like fun and learn some secrets about the boys. So when the girls were huddling up, I turn around and it was Rocco's turn and suddenly he was frenching down Marisol and she enjoyed it to the point her legs did the spread eagle."

Marisol and Rocco were kissing each other hard, with Marisol wrapping her legs around him. They slowly faded into black as the focus is on Oshun.

"Well, I was in such a state of shock. I completely blacked out, I can't remember a thing. It wasn't until later when I was washing the blood off my hands. I even knew Rocco was dead."

Oshun shows her hands covered in blood. She starts dancing and singing with the girls singing back up.

_They had it comin' (they had it comin')_  
_They had it comin' (they had it comin')_  
_They had it comin' all along_  
_I didn't do it (she didn't do it)_  
_But if I'd done it (but if she'd done it)_  
_How could you tell me that I was wrong?_

She spots Marisol and proceeds to chase her.

_They had it comin' (they had it comin')_  
_They had it comin' (they had it comin')_  
_They had it comin' all along (they took a flower in its prime)_  
_I didn't do it (and then they used it)_  
_But if I'd done it_  
_How could you tell me that I was wrong?_

Shannon is cozying up with Ibrahim. "I liked Ibrahim, more than I can possibly say. He was a real sweet guy; sensitive, a golfer. But he was always awkward. He'd go out every night finding himself and on the way, he found Priya, Siobhan, and Jo."

Three girls pop up and takes Ibrahim away, leaving Shannon alone.

"I guess you could say we broke up because of differences in hobbies. He saw himself as alive and I saw him..."

Shannon fanned out blood covered aces and eights in front of her.

" A dead man."

Hope, Lottie, Marisol, Chelsea, and Oshun are all revealed with a spotlight shining on each of them. 

_The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum_  
_The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum_

All the girls just either posed or danced.

_They had it comin'_  
_They had it comin'_  
_They had it comin' all along_  
_'Cause if they used us_  
_And they abused us_  
_How could you tell us that we were wrong?_

_He had it comin'_  
_He had it comin'_  
_He only had himself to blame_  
_If you'd have been there_  
_If you'd have seen it_  
_I betcha you would have done the same_

You hear each girl's voice overlapping each other.

"You cut that toastie one more time! Date, my ass! Ten times!

I still don't know why I'm here. Don't let me catch you slipping Marisol!

Differences in hobbies."

The steel bars appear front of the ladies as they each have one thing to say.

"Cut..."

"Tea..."

"Fish..."

"Uh uh..."

"Hateful hoe..."

"Ibrahim..."

Fin.


End file.
